Saturday, November 18, 2006

Climbing up

A few years ago I prayed for God to allow me to know Him in my sleep. I wanted those hours to be centered on Him too. A few days later I awoke with a heavy sorrow and tears stinging my eyes. I had a dream with Jesus in it. Most dreams are quickly forgotten but not this one; it has been years but it still ways heavy on my heart and woos me even today. It is to me a spiritual marker for my life.

There is a tall, majestic mountain. On the very top of the mountain is Jesus. Jesus is bending, stooping over the side of the mountain with out stretched arms crying to someone, “Come up here with Me.” “You can do it.” He gently prods this message over and over and over again. There is in His voice a sense of urgency clothed with great love and compassion. His heart is known to have a longing for the subject of His wooing to come up to where He is. Below Him there is a plateau over half way up the mountain. There on the plateau is me. It is me He is longing for to make the climb up. To get to Him all I need to do is climb the ladder to where He is. I get on the ladder…then I fall. I get back on the ladder and fall again. Over and over again I try through sobbing to climb up but to no avail. I awoke crying after I fell to the ground and cried, “I can’t do it.”

Without looking at my journals (which are all packed up and stored in a storage unit) I don’t remember how many days or weeks went by before God gave me Scripture. [I have to pause because God is playing our song right now. I don’t believe in coincidence but Godencidence.] Glory! Have I said lately how I absolutely adore Him?!! Anyway back to those Scriptures:

Isaiah 40:9 (NKJV)

O Zion,

You who bring good tidings, Get up into the high mountain;

O Jerusalem,

You who bring good tidings,

Lift up your voice with strength,

Lift it up, be not afraid;

Say to the cities of Judah, "Behold your God!"

Isaiah 57:15 (NKJV)

For thus says the High and Lofty One

Who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy:

"I dwell in the high and holy place,

With him who has a contrite and humble spirit,

To revive the spirit of the humble,

And to revive the heart of the contrite ones.

Since that dream my desire has always been to climb up and be with my loving and wooing Jesus. About 5 years ago I asked God why the Mountain and the climb up were important. He gave me another picture of what the mountain is about. I climbed up to the Mountain of God with my eyes fixed on Him. He placed His hands upon my shoulders and turned me around. As my eyes focused I could see below me women in all stages of life. Some too busy, others were hurting deeply, still others longing for more and on and on the women were below living daily life. I turned back to Him to see His eyes filled with tears. He then gently said, “You know My heart and love towards them; now go and minister to them in My name.” And then He admonished me, “You must make the climb up through out the day in order to know my heart and what you must do.” “You will also need to climb up when you are tired and don’t feel like it so that you can enter into My rest and joy.”

In the last few months I have found little opportunities to minister to others. I had been talking about this to the Lord a few months ago (on the mountain), and then this song came on. One of the many things God was saying to me through this song was that I had to go through the valleys in order to know intimately the hearts of other women that I can more genuinely minister to them. I have a fresh awareness of the hearts of working women!

A few other points this song resonates with me is

  1. I wouldn’t trade the journey I have been on with Him for any thing this world could offer…I long for what’s in front of me in His glorious presence.
  2. He has been faithful to His promise of providing us with daily manna. He has always been with us because we always turned aside to be with Him.
  3. I am saddened by all I have had to leave behind (Belinda, Erin, Jeanette, Donna, Lisa, Micah, Rebecca, Miki, Carolyn, Patti, Yvette, Myrna, Patricia, Gari, Laura, Jan, Jennifer, Nancy, Jodi, Julie L., Carrie, Lillian, Julie S. Judy G., Shelly …) I could honestly go on for a page or two so please don’t be offended if your name isn’t here. Remember after I spend my first with my Savior all are invited to my mansion for some sweet tea and a slumber party. Goodbye isn’t forever for us who live for the eternal
  4. Although what’s before me is all eternity with our Jesus I do believe that the days before each of hold some of the greatest adventure yet, this side of glory. “Sanctify yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do wonders among you."
  5. I believe God is wooing others to climb up. He wants to reveal His heart to you and send you out.

The Mountain of God

Sung by Third Day
Even though the journey’s long
And I know the road is hard
Well, the One who’s gone before me
He will help me carry on
After all that I’ve been through
Now I realize the truth
That I must go through the valley
To stand upon the mountain of God

As I travel on the road
That You have lead me down
You are here with me
Yes, You are here with me
I have need for nothing more
Oh, now that I have found
That You are here with me
Yes, You are here with me

I confess from time to time
I lose my way
But You are always there
To bring me back again

Sometimes I think of where it is I’ve come from
And the things I’ve left behind
But of all I’ve had, what I possessed
Nothing can quite compare
With what’s in front of me
With what’s in front of me

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Keep on Crying Out.........He Hears Us!

In my Quiet Time for 10/17/06 I was led to Psalm 120-121. I thought someone out there may need this word of encouragement as I did. Recently this passage was brought up in an email by a friend and again God was saying I need to blog about these two encouraging Psalms.

I call on the LORD in my distress,
and he answers me. (Psalm 120:1)

When we cry out to Him in our distress; He hears us to the extent of responding to us with an answer. I wonder how many times we miss His voice because we don’t stop long enough to hear Him. Yes, cry out in your distress but then wait for His response. I didn’t say your troubles would be over because He would speak them away. I am saying that when we seek Him out as our help He will be found. Believe. Believe that He hears and helps.

After writing the previous paragraph I had questions for the Lord. I asked the Lord about the times that I had cried out for the Lord and waited for His response and “felt” only silence. I knew that silence more often than not is a result of living in un-confessed sin or tolerating a lifestyle of sin. But there have been times that I have been walking in sweet fellowship that I cried out and still felt the sting of “silence.” I sincerely asked the Lord to answers my question not only for me but for others. It was about two to three hours later while I was reading, “He Speaks to Me” by Priscilla Shirer that God answered. I heard Him whisper, “Here is the answer to your question.” Glory! I love Him! Have I told you how much I love You, Lord? I do love You!

I want to share with you what He shared with me through Priscilla. “Trust that in His silence, God is speaking to you. He wants silence to make you desperate not for a solution to your problem, but for more of Him.” “We know that we are becoming spiritually mature when God is silent and, instead of asking why, we humble ourselves before Him and persevere in prayer. It is a mark of maturity to believe that even though God may be silent, He is still in control.” Priscilla used the passage in Matthew 15:21-28, where the Canaanite woman continued with perseverance in seeking Jesus’ attention to her problem despite Jesus’ ignoring her, insulting her and giving her reason for not helping her. (I can almost imagine Jesus interceding for her before the throne, “keep asking, you have the faith;” all out of her physical sight and hearing.) She continued to petition Him for help because she knew He was her only hope. If you are crying out from your distress and hearing nothing, persevere in prayer believing God is hearing and is responding whether you are hearing or not. HE HEARS US!

1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip—

Where do you lift your eyes for help, man, the stars alignment, therapists, TV, food, books? Your help comes from the Lord. He alone is your help. You look for your help anywhere else but Him and I guarantee your foot will slip.

3 b he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

Take comfort that He does not sleep on the job. We are His job, His creation. In fact He tells us that we are His delight and treasure. If you knew that an enemy was stalking your child. Or that the difference between the abundant life and mediocre life was at stake with your children would you sleep? Although our earthly bodies may give out eventually no matter how hard we fight, His will not! He is continually watching over His own. He watches over you personally. He is watching over you right now. Yes, right this very minute He is watching over you. The Holy Writ tells us that, “He…shall neither slumber nor sleep.” These are two different words in the Hebrew. The first one means that He not only doesn’t sleep, He won’t get drowsy either. He remains completely alert. Isn’t it nice to know we can’t bore Him to sleep? The other word means to be slack, slow, growing old, stale or hardened. He isn’t slow or slack when it comes to us and our circumstances. Our cries do not cause Him to grow old or weary. He cares about us; “watches” means that He attends to us. So continue to pour out your heart to the Lord.

5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

The LORD promises to be our shade. Working under the heat of this life can be tiring. The “heat” can really take its toll on us. His answer is to give us shade, relief from the “heat”. He provides Himself as our shade from the distress. What a loving God we serve. All other relief we seek from the heat is temporary at best and only hits the surface. His relief is eternal and penetrates deep to the soul. Now this is how this is all coming together. When you are laboring in the heat and you need rest and refreshment you SEEK out the shade. You go to it! You have to stop long enough to go rest in the shade. It is in the shade you glean what you need to persevere. When you are laboring in the “heat” of your distress, you need His shade. You need to rest in Him so that He becomes your strength and then you can persevere. But you must seek Him out as your shade. His shade is His presence and His Word. God promises us that when we seek Him out as our “shade” we will not be harmed by the externals of life. God invites us to take refuge in Him; soak in these verses:

You are my hiding place;
you will protect me from trouble
and surround me with songs of deliverance. Psalm 32:7

Keep me as the apple of your eye;
hide me in the shadow of your wings Psalm 17:8

How priceless is your unfailing love!
Both high and low among men
find refuge in the shadow of your wings. Psalm 36:7

Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me,
for in you my soul takes refuge.
I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings
until the disaster has passed Psalm 57:1

He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. Psalm 91:4

7b he will watch over your life;
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

This is important, He doesn’t just watch over “us” but our lives! Wow!! This is what stopped me and caused me to really ponder then write. I think this is huge, and if we can grasp it, it will cause great faith and growth. You see when we cry out in our distress and the answer is no, wait or be still… anything but a definite yes. We can trust that He is watching over our lives and not just our current situation. He continues to move us along His bigger purposes and plans and not just moving us out a particular circumstance. There is so much more at stake than what we see with our eyes. This is why it is by faith we must walk and why it is impossible to please God without faith. His purpose and plans for us are bigger that just today’s sorrows or even this seasons hardships. It’s about a life purpose and plan…His! Yes He is watching over you now, but it is about more than what we are experiencing here and now it is about the whole, the life. The here and now is only important when seen in the bigger picture of the whole life.

So while you are in the shade consider what the bigger purpose and plan may be. Ponder His heart and mind towards you and your life. I am!

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Bragging on Our God!

Jon and I know a sweet couple that has grown very dear to us; Lisa and Chris. Lisa and Chris had planned way ahead to attend a Marriage Retreat. They had made all the arrangements and were very excited about what God had in store for them. Chris is in the military and a few weeks before the retreat was told that he would be going to Iraq. Now more than ever they wanted to go on the retreat. Chris was soon told that having a weekend off would me a miracle. Just what our God does best!!. Lisa and Chris sought out all those that would pray in agreement with them for this weekend…well let me let her tell you in her own words:
“God used this marriage retreat in a mighty way and in more ways than I could have imagined. Satan must have known how much it would benefit our relationship as well as our Christian walk. He tried so hard to keep Chris from going on this retreat, but thanks to all the prayers that were constantly being lifted up on his behalf; Satan was unable to triumph. I praise God for this seemingly small victory in our lives that will carry on for years to come!”
Praise God from whom all blessing come! He is still the God who performs miracles. He is big in our midst! How can you help but walk before Him in love? Offer up your applause on our Great God’s behalf.

Friday, October 13, 2006


Our ladies at Jackson Park are having a Mentoring luncheon this Sunday and I am excited. I was reminded of this blog and in light of upcoming events want to republish it. It will do me good to be reminded of God's ways for women in the Church.

I have been in ministry for 26 years. I'm going to confess that for all those years I have seen very little of Titus II operating within the local church. I haven't seen older men teaching and encouraging the younger men in the ways of LORD nor have I seen younger women teaching and training younger women. I can only count one who sought to mentor me intentionally, an older woman whose name was Carolyn Badry. One of the greatest things she ever did for me was to challenge me to read. What Happens When Women Pray, by Evelyn Christensen. She even loaned me her copy! At another time, maybe I'll share how that alone impacted my life and created miraculous events that still awe me to this day. I'm not saying that there weren't others that I learned from. There were a few, but what I learned from them I learned at a distance, by watching.

I personally didn't grow up in a Christian home. I was completely clueless when it cam to parenting and marriage in general much less in the ways of God. I fumbled and stumbled throughout. I learned too much the hard way. Oh, how I longed for someone to come along and walk with me, teaching, training and encouraging me. Listen, I know now that there was no one that would have had all the answers or would have been perfect. That wasn't what I needed or even wanted. I needed someone who loved the LORD and His Word so that it overflowed to me. Someone who knew Him longer and deeper than myself and who would share a few tips along the journey.

I wonder how many other women were looking for the same things. I also wonder if the ways of God had been practiced within the Church, if we'd have the problems we have today reaching out to the younger generations. I wonder if the divorce rate would be what it is today in the Church if Titus II were applied. What I have seen in most churches is a caretaker mentality, (just take care of ME!) Not at all the picture Christ gave us for the Church.
Ephes. 4:15-16 (NKJV)
…but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head--Christ-- from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.

Every one of us must be doing our share in edifying the body of Christ. A lot of the talking I’ve heard has been full of everything but love; critical, slanderous, malicious or empty and shallow. We are all called to continue to grow in Christ; and to do our part in helping others grow in Christ.

We have seen that we are all called to love the Church through edifying the Body. We have also seen that God specifically has told us to whom and what we women are to speak in love. We share Woman to Woman and Man to Man. I don’t think it takes a rocket scientist to figure out the wisdom in doing this God’s way. God also gave us some starting points:

Titus 2:3-5 (NKJV)
…teachers of good things -- that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands…

The question that comes next is how. Sometimes I am so overwhelmed with love for the Lord that I can’t contain myself. I love how He loves me. I love how He knows me. As I was reading Titus II again He whispered two different verses to me. At first I responded with, “okay, Lord I will look at those later.” Then I realized He was still teaching me about Titus II. Read the following passages and then I’ll share what the Lord was saying to me.

Matthew 28:19-20 (NKJV)
Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." Amen

Deut. 6:6-9; 20-25 (NKJV)
"And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
"When your son asks you in time to come, saying, 'What is the meaning of the testimonies, the statutes, and the judgments which the Lord our God has commanded you?' then you shall say to your son: 'We were slaves of Pharaoh in Egypt, and the Lord brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand; and the Lord showed signs and wonders before our eyes, great and severe, against Egypt, Pharaoh, and all his household. Then He brought us out from there, that He might bring us in, to give us the land of which He swore to our fathers. And the Lord commanded us to observe all these statutes, to fear the Lord our God, for our good always, that He might preserve us alive, as it is this day. Then it will be righteousness for us, if we are careful to observe all these commandments before the Lord our God, as He has commanded us.'

The Lord was saying that we make things much harder than they need to be. In the great commission He says that we are to, “Go.” Now a more accurate translation is, as you go. As we go we are to make disciples and teach them how to obey. As we go we are to intentionally share our faith and then continue to share our faith in discipling. In the Deuteronomy passage we see it in reference to parenting, in our case think spiritual parenting or mentoring if you prefer. We intentionally look for the opportunity to share with love as we are sitting, walking, etc. My mentor Carolyn Badry didn’t walk up to me one day and say, “I want to mentor you” or, “I want to teach you a few things.” She invited me into her home and just talked. She shared books with me that had meant something to her and helped her to grow in the Lord. She prayed with me when she knew there was a need. She encouraged me to exercise my gift that I didn’t even know I had; by asking me to teach her class. She edified me and I am forever grateful.

I see three steps in Deuteronomy. Step one: We love the Lord and His Word so much that we become one with Him and His Word that it over flows from us so that others notice it. We can’t share opinions or lead in wrong paths we must know, live and share His truth. Step Two: We intentionally look for the opportunities to share with younger women and we do so diligently. Step Three: When we are asked questions we willingly share our own experiences and encounters with the Lord, the victories and the failures. All we do, we do out of sincere and genuine love for them and our precious Lord and Savior Jesus the LORD’S Christ.

I have challenged the older to seek out the younger but you who are young in the ways of LORD, newly married or a young parent can seek out the older, wiser woman. I recently had a young woman who God has challenged to lead the women of her church to email me and ask me to mentor her and give her guidance. How thrilling for me!

I would love to hear your thoughts on Titus II. Maybe those of you who have mentored would like to share ways you have intentionally mentored others.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Chapter 1 Being Blameless

Titus Ponderings: As I read Chapter one of Titus I was tempted as a woman to skip it thinking it doesn’t apply to me. I’m not a man nor a Pastor, Deacon or a paid Minister. I was going to immediately go to chapter two since it is my favorite when I heard God whisper, “Think again.” Okay, what do You want me to see? Here is what He opened my eyes to.

God reminded me of my role as a woman…to be my man’s helpmate. Hmmm, since my husband has been called into the ministry this passage deals with him directly and me indirectly. So if you are a wife of a minister or deacon, mother of, daughter of, grandmother to…this indirectly will apply to you as well. Some of you are saying, “I only have girls and my husband is not called into the ministry nor is he a deacon.” I believe that these are qualities that God is seeking in every man. They are the characteristics that describe a man of God. We all want our husbands, sons, grandsons, brothers to have the character God desires for him. We also want our daughters, granddaughters, sisters…to know what kind of man to look for. Also what kinds of men we as mothers are to raise up to the glory of our Lord. So this applies to us women just as much as it does the men.

So what is He calling our attention to? We need to “straighten out what is unfinished” or “set in order the things that are lacking.” God is saying to look at the following lists and see where I may be lacking and where I may be helpful in where my man may be lacking and then work to set things in order; get them straightened out.

Twice He tells us that we are to be blameless. It carries the idea of living a life where no one can accuse you of wrong doing. He specifically tells us that the men need to be blameless in their family life. They are to have only one wife; which means that they are to work at their marriage and make it one that honors the Lord. Marriage takes a lot of work and the man can’t do it alone. Here is where we can truly be a help or a hinder. Many of you know my husbands holy conviction of not ever being alone with a woman in any setting. He says that he is making sure that no one will ever be given the opportunity to accuse him of being unfaithful; he seeks to live blameless. Recently a letter was sent to a coworker’s husband accusing her of having an affair with another coworker. The marriage is now in jeopardy. I know both of these people and honestly don’t believe they were having an affair. But none of this would have happened if the two workers hadn’t hung out so much together. They often went out to lunches and breaks together and yes probably a little flirting was involved. People were bound to talk. We live in a world full of people who are curious, jealous, busy bodies and just plain mean. As Christians we must be on guard always because we live in a fallen world where the enemy is prowling around seeking a way to bring down Christian marriages, families and ministries. God is warning us to protect His name not just ours. If we are to carry His name then we must be careful to live up to that name. Protecting our marriage is also protecting the name we carry. The other part of the family we are to guard is the raising of our children and let’s face it men need our help immensely in this area. He specifically tells us not to raise children that are wild and disobedient but children that believe. We all know that people are quick to pass judgments most unfairly. If you are a ministers wife you know how closely your children are watched, unfairly so. Again, God is saying it isn’t about what is fair but about My name. It must be protected. If our children are drawing negative attention then ministering is being hindered and therefore we become a stumbling block. I don’t think God was saying our children are to be perfect ‘stepford’ children but they should respect their parents. There is no guarantee that even if you are blameless that someone one won’t be critical. This is where knowing we are blameless (not perfect) and have peace with God. So I ask myself, are things in order in these two areas?

Then God spelled it out for me. He showed me the character traits of what one who is blameless has and the characteristics he doesn’t have. If I am to be blameless I can’t be overbearing (self-willed), quick-tempered, not a drunk, not violent, not pursuing dishonest gain (greedy). Okay, here is where I had to stop and ask the Holy Spirit for His insightful and discerning help. Am I or Jon overbearing, quick-tempered, drinking too much, violent or greedy? It is important for me to take the time and sincerely ask since the Scriptures tell us that the heart is deceptive above all things. Where I found myself lacking, I asked for forgiveness and help to be rid of the sin. Where I saw possible weakness in Jon or my children, I prayed for them. If God leads I will talk to them about what the Holy Spirit has shown me.
If I want to be blameless, I am told to be: hospitable, love what is good, be self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined. After studying these words I saw a pattern. God wants me to love others by giving of myself, love doing good deeds, love others by not having to have the last word or getting my way, love by doing right. Woe is me; I am a woman of unclean ways living among a people of unclean ways! Let me recap what God is saying. We are to love others by sharing our resources. We are to love others intentionally, through our actions by doing good deeds. We are to love others with our attitudes; our thoughts and speech should be loving not selfish. We are to love God by obeying, being righteous, doing what is right in God’s eyes. We are to love God by being holy; we are not to treat ourselves or salvation as something common but sacred. We are to love God by walking by faith not sight; we can’t explain everything, we won’t understand everything but we will trust Him in all things at all times. This is how one remains strong in the things of the Lord. With the Holy Spirits help I again do some self-examination. If I am to be a doer of the Word and not just a hearer I MUST take the time to make the changes necessary.

Why is all this so very important to God? In one way or another we are all spiritual leaders. God has entrusted His work to us. I need to let that sink in. We should take this responsibility seriously. Sadly many who ‘say’ they are followers of Jesus don’t. I took another look at Titus 1:10-16. Here is a picture of those who are not blameless but irresponsible and dangerous to kingdom work. They are destroyers of whole households by what they are teaching and teaching for selfish gain. God says, “They claim to know God, but their actions deny Him.” “They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing any good thing.” I don’t want this be me.

O Father, I want to walk with You every moment of every day. I want to feel the tug on my hand when I am starting to go the wrong way and I want to respond with full cooperation and Joy. I want to go Your way. I so want to be blameless so that I can, yes, am fit to do kingdom work but mostly I want to honor Your great name. LORD, I confess I have many areas that need changing but I trust You and therefore I yield to You. You are my abundant life and joy.

Bragging on our God

Lisa's friend Rachel has a nephew who has had 3 holes in his heart that have given him much trouble. HAD!!! One hole is completely closed, another is almost completely closed and the biggest one is starting to close. IT was told me that the Dr. hadn't seen anything like it. I love how mf dear friend Lisa put it, "She (the Dr.) just witnessed the healing hand of God." Amen to that. Isn't God wonderful? I counted it an honor to pray for this little guy along side countless others that I am sure I won't meet till glory. How it thrills our heavenly Father to hear his children standing in the gap arm in arm for those in need. Let's never forget the power of prayer!

Monday, September 18, 2006

Here am I, send me...

Recently I was called upon to go and talk to someone about some major issues going on in her life. Because of who this person was I was extremely nervous about talking to her. I was doubting my ability to share anything of significance with her because her experiences were foreign in many ways to what I have experienced. I can remember Jon looking over at me at one time and saying, “You really are nervous, aren’t you?” I talked to God pacing as I did so. I asked Him, “Why me?” “Can’t You find someone who can actually help her?” “I don’t know what to say; I don’t know how to help her.” As I was pacing back and forth I hear Him whisper gently, “Isaiah 61.”

Let me go back a few months to March 16th. Another pause, many of you are wondering how I know the date. I JOURNAL and follow a SYSTEMATIC Bible reading plan. I knew where to look. Listen, without writing it down there would be so much of God’s works in my life that I would quickly forget. My journal is my way of building an altar every time I encounter the LORD. That’s what they did over and over again in the OT; they built altars so that they would have a visible reminder for themselves and as a testimony to others. This is exactly what I am doing today with this blog.

Back to March 16th. On that day God brought me back to Isaiah 56-61. He showed me again, that the heart of Jesus was to be my heart and my calling. I saw afresh that day that God loves people more than anything and He longs deeply for all peoples to intimately know Him. There are obstacles in their way and He wants them removed. God hears the cries of desperation. His ears are not dull nor His arm to short to save. Yet God has chosen me (you) to be His ears and His arm. God is appalled that in this dark world where He is light and has redeemed us that we may shine forth His light; He can find none to intervene. I answered that day, “Here am I, send me.”

So when God whispered, “Isaiah 61.” I knew exactly what He was saying. He was telling me that He was sending me to reveal His heart and purpose. Here is just a small portion of His heart and purpose:

"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me,

Because the Lord has anointed Me

To preach good tidings to the poor;

He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,

To proclaim liberty to the captives,

And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;

[2] To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord,

And the day of vengeance of our God;

To comfort all who mourn,

[3] To console those who mourn in Zion,

To give them beauty for ashes,

The oil of joy for mourning,

The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;

That they may be called trees of righteousness,

The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified."

Isaiah 61:1-3 (NKJV)

As I went obediently and willingly He poured out His Spirit upon me. His love and wisdom came out of my heart and mouth. Healing began that day for someone I love deeply.

Yes God heard her cries for help. Yes God heard my begging for release or help. But let me give a little thanks and praise to other prayers that were heard. My sweet sisters in Christ were heard and responded to by our great and loving Lord. I honestly knew with confidence that I was being prayed for. I truly believe that I would not have had the empowering I had without their intercession. So thank you sweet sisters; how my love for you has grown even at this distance.

Till next time lets’ love as He loves and go when He says go. Let me know when and I will pray for you as you take on His heart’s passion…people.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

A Fresh Beginning

I began this blog site out of the constant, non-relenting coercing and urging of my wonderful husband. Did I mention that he is persistent? Any of you out there that have been blessed to know him, know exactly what I am talking about. I have to admit that it is one of the things I love about him and our relationship. He loves me just the way I am but loves me way to much to let me grow comfortable or better put, stagnant. Through out the last few years I have often said to him that I want to learn to write. God shows me so much and I fear I can’t contain it without putting it in writing. His response; then write! A typical Jon Estes response; things come way to easy for him, especially the mornings. Doing the blog was another way he saw for me to write what God was doing in my life.

I recently was disappointed with my blog site and the lack of response received from God’s invitation for us all to brag on Him. I had this expectation of grandiose proportions. When those expectations weren’t met I quit. To be honest when Jon would question me about it, I couldn’t figure out the purpose behind it. Why do it? What was it to accomplish? What fruit was it bearing? If there were no obvious results then why waste the time?

I now have my purposes. It’s not necessarily for you out there but for Him….and me. I am His witness! I am not called to defend Him but to be His witness. I will declare how awesome He is in my everyday encounters with Him. I will testify of changes He is making in me. I will openly praise and thank Him for all things and in all things. I will proclaim His truth as He reveals it to me. I will worship Him. Will I challenge you? That will be entirely up to you and Him. Do I want to hear from you…of course but this blog will no longer be dependent on the response or lack there of. I may at times ask specifically for your insights, feelings and experiences to enrich and enlighten me as I teach and disciple other women. They need us and I need you.

So what will be the format for the blog, exactly what it is titled; my ponderings. Let me warn you I ponder a lot and they don’t always make a lot of sense to anyone else but me…and Him! Hallelujah for that. He does understand me completely and still loves me faithfully. He is good.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Hiking for glory...

My shoes are on and I am ready for the hike. Remember we’re pondering the phrase; Bloom Where You Are Planted. With a phrase that isn’t in the Bible but comes from the secular world I want to first answer a primary question we would all do well to ask more often. Is it Biblical? Then I will break the phrase apart and ask the basic questions such as, who, what, when, where and my two favorite questions how and why? We’ll start with breaking the phrase apart. Today let’s look at the idea of blooming. Is it Biblical? Who is to bloom? If it is Biblical to bloom then what are we to bloom?

Bloom is a verb in the phrase and it means to: 1.) to produce or yield blossoms; to flower; 2.) to be in a state of healthful, growing youth & vigor; 3.) to glow with color; health. With this definition in mind let’s answer the three questions for today. I can hardly contain myself from steaming right ahead, yet I am stopped by a whisper. God is whispering to me, “Let them!” He wants me to challenge you to do your own hiking. God is gently saying to me again, “Let them dig for treasure and share what I want to show each of them. Let them get on this forum and declare how awesome I am to personally teach them. Let them know Pam that it isn’t just you I can share great truth with. Challenge them Pam to open the Living Word.”

I am reminded of an encounter I had with my God several years ago. All at my request He gave rain, lightning and thunder. I thanked Him for being the giver of rain. I praised Him for His majestic hand that throws the lightning across the sky. I honored and recognized Him as the One that gives the roar to the thunder. He spoke to me afterward through a song, “He craves for at least His own to be mindful of Him, to thank Him for all things, and to recognize His power.” Nothing is random with our Lord. He is God and should be praised and thanked so much more than we do. I can’t help but think that He is personally giving each of us an opportunity to brag on Him. Will you join me? Hike with Him and then brag on all He points out to you and then declare it to others! Glory, He is so much more!

So here is your challenge: find the Scriptures that support the idea of blooming and why God would want us to.

Let me give you a hint think of blooming as bearing fruit, a state of growing --- what would the opposite be? What about glowing? Can I just share with you one verse? Phil. 2:15 “…so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation in which you shine like stars in the universe…” God wants all of His children to shine like stars in a crooked and depraved generation. Why?

Hiking can be laborious yet along the way you can experience a wealth of beauty and curiosities. If we keep trekking we’ll reach the summit and see, nope I must stop right here and ask you to close your eyes and tell me what you will see at the summit; breathtaking isn’t it? I know some of you are going to get on a roll and not want to stop, God says, “Go ahead.” Believe me that was the opposite of what I wanted to say, nevertheless I will be back soon to look at the rest of the phrase and answer more of the questions. Until then I am waiting expectantly to have some comments bragging or our glorious LORD.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006


I was awakened one morning this week with thoughts swirling around the familiar phrase, Bloom Where You are Planted. Spring is in the air, yet I find myself in the dead of winter waiting for spring to arrive so that I can bloom again. I could hear God say, “Is that right?" Anytime God asks a question it’s our invitation to put on the ole hiking boots and put the feet to walking and climbing. Not exactly what one plans to do in the dead of winter.

Some of you are laughing and wanting to awake me to the fact it is almost May, not the dead of winter. I’m not talking about the earthly calendar but the spiritual calendar. Not about the outdoor occurrences but the personal circumstances. We’ve all been here and more than likely will be here again before our journey with God, this side of glory, ends. That being the case… I’m tying the laces on my boots. There is something God wants me to discover, to learn and then live. GLORY!

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

To Believe or Not to Believe

To Believe God
When no one else gets it
When it means risking everything
When it means you're in mid air with nothing to catch you if you fall
When it hurts and is scarry
When it doesn't make sense

But what if I don't Believe God
I won't get Him or my promised land
I won't have anything of worth
I won't know my Daddy's power to come out of nowhere to catch me
I won't know His comfort & affirmation nor will I know courage
I won't know my God & His ways that are not like the worlds

So...I will Believe God

Monday, February 06, 2006

Respond to God's Love with Love

Could you imagine going down to the SPCA and rescuing a dog from immenant death to take him home and become your companion only to have the dog ignore you? The dog wants nothing to do with you. Everytime you want to pet him, play with and pour out you love on him he runs and hides from you. When you come in from work he hides. When he thinks you are not looking he finds his toys and wags his tail incessantly. The only time he wags his tail when you are around is when you fill his food and water bowl. Even then there are times he growls if you don't give as much as he wants. You find yourself asking, "why wouldn't he want my love, after all I saved him from sure death? Why wouldn't he want my petting, grooming and affection? I saved him so that he would be my companion, yet all he wants is what I can give him. He doesn't want me at all. After awhile, with this continued treatment what would you consider doing? For how long would you try to woo him into companionship with you?

I wonder if that is how God feels as well. He saved us from imminent death. He took us home to dwell with Him as on of His own children. He desire was for us to be His companion. He wants to pour out His love on us, to groom us to be the best we can be. He provides eternal security and all our needs. Yet, how many of us hide from Him instead of seeking Him out to pour out or love on Him? What we do is run to Him only when we are in trouble or we need something, then as soon as we get it we quickly run away again to hide. And if we don't get what we are after we accuse Him of not loving us or being unfair.