Titus Ponderings: As I read Chapter one of Titus I was tempted as a woman to skip it thinking it doesn’t apply to me. I’m not a man nor a Pastor, Deacon or a paid Minister. I was going to immediately go to chapter two since it is my favorite when I heard God whisper, “Think again.” Okay, what do You want me to see? Here is what He opened my eyes to.
God reminded me of my role as a woman…to be my man’s helpmate. Hmmm, since my husband has been called into the ministry this passage deals with him directly and me indirectly. So if you are a wife of a minister or deacon, mother of, daughter of, grandmother to…this indirectly will apply to you as well. Some of you are saying, “I only have girls and my husband is not called into the ministry nor is he a deacon.” I believe that these are qualities that God is seeking in every man. They are the characteristics that describe a man of God. We all want our husbands, sons, grandsons, brothers to have the character God desires for him. We also want our daughters, granddaughters, sisters…to know what kind of man to look for. Also what kinds of men we as mothers are to raise up to the glory of our Lord. So this applies to us women just as much as it does the men.
So what is He calling our attention to? We need to “straighten out what is unfinished” or “set in order the things that are lacking.” God is saying to look at the following lists and see where I may be lacking and where I may be helpful in where my man may be lacking and then work to set things in order; get them straightened out.
Twice He tells us that we are to be blameless. It carries the idea of living a life where no one can accuse you of wrong doing. He specifically tells us that the men need to be blameless in their family life. They are to have only one wife; which means that they are to work at their marriage and make it one that honors the Lord. Marriage takes a lot of work and the man can’t do it alone. Here is where we can truly be a help or a hinder. Many of you know my husbands holy conviction of not ever being alone with a woman in any setting. He says that he is making sure that no one will ever be given the opportunity to accuse him of being unfaithful; he seeks to live blameless. Recently a letter was sent to a coworker’s husband accusing her of having an affair with another coworker. The marriage is now in jeopardy. I know both of these people and honestly don’t believe they were having an affair. But none of this would have happened if the two workers hadn’t hung out so much together. They often went out to lunches and breaks together and yes probably a little flirting was involved. People were bound to talk. We live in a world full of people who are curious, jealous, busy bodies and just plain mean. As Christians we must be on guard always because we live in a fallen world where the enemy is prowling around seeking a way to bring down Christian marriages, families and ministries. God is warning us to protect His name not just ours. If we are to carry His name then we must be careful to live up to that name. Protecting our marriage is also protecting the name we carry. The other part of the family we are to guard is the raising of our children and let’s face it men need our help immensely in this area. He specifically tells us not to raise children that are wild and disobedient but children that believe. We all know that people are quick to pass judgments most unfairly. If you are a ministers wife you know how closely your children are watched, unfairly so. Again, God is saying it isn’t about what is fair but about My name. It must be protected. If our children are drawing negative attention then ministering is being hindered and therefore we become a stumbling block. I don’t think God was saying our children are to be perfect ‘stepford’ children but they should respect their parents. There is no guarantee that even if you are blameless that someone one won’t be critical. This is where knowing we are blameless (not perfect) and have peace with God. So I ask myself, are things in order in these two areas?
Then God spelled it out for me. He showed me the character traits of what one who is blameless has and the characteristics he doesn’t have. If I am to be blameless I can’t be overbearing (self-willed), quick-tempered, not a drunk, not violent, not pursuing dishonest gain (greedy). Okay, here is where I had to stop and ask the Holy Spirit for His insightful and discerning help. Am I or Jon overbearing, quick-tempered, drinking too much, violent or greedy? It is important for me to take the time and sincerely ask since the Scriptures tell us that the heart is deceptive above all things. Where I found myself lacking, I asked for forgiveness and help to be rid of the sin. Where I saw possible weakness in Jon or my children, I prayed for them. If God leads I will talk to them about what the Holy Spirit has shown me.
If I want to be blameless, I am told to be: hospitable, love what is good, be self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined. After studying these words I saw a pattern. God wants me to love others by giving of myself, love doing good deeds, love others by not having to have the last word or getting my way, love by doing right. Woe is me; I am a woman of unclean ways living among a people of unclean ways! Let me recap what God is saying. We are to love others by sharing our resources. We are to love others intentionally, through our actions by doing good deeds. We are to love others with our attitudes; our thoughts and speech should be loving not selfish. We are to love God by obeying, being righteous, doing what is right in God’s eyes. We are to love God by being holy; we are not to treat ourselves or salvation as something common but sacred. We are to love God by walking by faith not sight; we can’t explain everything, we won’t understand everything but we will trust Him in all things at all times. This is how one remains strong in the things of the Lord. With the Holy Spirits help I again do some self-examination. If I am to be a doer of the Word and not just a hearer I MUST take the time to make the changes necessary.
Why is all this so very important to God? In one way or another we are all spiritual leaders. God has entrusted His work to us. I need to let that sink in. We should take this responsibility seriously. Sadly many who ‘say’ they are followers of Jesus don’t. I took another look at Titus 1:10-16. Here is a picture of those who are not blameless but irresponsible and dangerous to kingdom work. They are destroyers of whole households by what they are teaching and teaching for selfish gain. God says, “They claim to know God, but their actions deny Him.” “They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing any good thing.” I don’t want this be me.
O Father, I want to walk with You every moment of every day. I want to feel the tug on my hand when I am starting to go the wrong way and I want to respond with full cooperation and Joy. I want to go Your way. I so want to be blameless so that I can, yes, am fit to do kingdom work but mostly I want to honor Your great name. LORD, I confess I have many areas that need changing but I trust You and therefore I yield to You. You are my abundant life and joy.
